Summer Time!

Summer has been good. It has been full of family, friends, landscaping, anniversaries, birthdays, trips to the lake, camping, job promotions, remodeling (sort of), dieting, wine tasting, barbecues and the list continues to grow.

Last weekend we went on our first 'real' camping trip for the year. Although it wasn't the first time we had slept in our tent, it was the first time we had camped without the use of a nice RV parked next to us so that we could cook, wash dishes, use the bathroom and run my heating blanket extension cord from. We spent the weekend in Tahoe with some friends and a clan of our five dogs and had a great time. The weather turned on Saturday and the guys had to MacGyver some tarps up to the pine trees in order to give us some cover from the rain but the storm was short lived and the thunder and lightning show was worth it. Sunday we went to the lake and despite the warm weather we had another lightning show and a little rain. Sitting on the beach watching the lightning in the mountains was pretty incredible.



The summer is flying by and it won't be slowing down anytime soon. We made our annual trek to the State Fair last night and enjoyed an evening of people watching. There is nothing like gathering all of the crazies in one spot for two weeks out of the year, feeding them a bunch of fried food and alcohol and letting them participate in the hypnotist show. Great idea Sacramento! Most of August will be spent with my brother Steven and his family who will be arriving in California next week and staying through the end of August. I can't wait! I'm trying to hold off on packing each day with things to do but I know this is a great time for them to come home, relax and enjoy the family time that they haven't had in over a year. We will however be planning another camping trip at some point while they are home and since Brett, the dogs and I can fully load an entire F250 with camping gear just for us, it is going to be interesting to add 4 more people to the trip! Move over Jed Clampett, the Bittle's are rolling in!

Cheap Shot

It's official. I'm dieting. I found my motivation by challenging friends and family for money. Deep down I think there may be something wrong with that but for now I'm going to call it motivation. You can read about our journey at 30 Before 30. I won't torture you with how miserably hungry I will be in this blog. The tone of this blog may however be directly affected by actions taken in the other. You have been warned.

July 4th was our very first anniversary as a married couple. I can't believe it's been a year already. Brett and I had a 4 day weekend and as the date approached I realized we were not going to be making any plans. Partly because we were trying to save some money and partly because it was 4th of July. Neither one of us enjoy being around large crowds or sitting in traffic and a hotel room anywhere on the 4th doubles in cost. It took a few weeks for me to settle into the idea that we would be spending our first anniversary at home doing absolutely nothing. Now I'm not saying that I settled into this idea willingly however. Every chance possible I made it known that I was not happy about our lack of arrangements. When friends asked about our plans my response was "Absolutely nothing" in a matter-of-fact tone and when they would ask "Really? Are you at least going out to dinner?" I would say "Nope, just staying home" and give some sort of audible harumph. Most of my close friends could pick up on my tone right away and a few even called me out on my 'Debbie Downer' attitude. Brett would usually roll his eyes and change the subject or sometimes leave the room. I made my jabs as often as I could. I was not happy about not doing anything for our anniversary. I didn't blame Brett, I knew it was a decision we had both made but by the time I realized I didn't like our decision I figured it was to late to change our minds. I was pouting.

On the 4th we slept in like any normal lazy day off. At that point we were two days into our long weekend and we were pro's at being lazy. Brett rolled over and pulled my anniversary card out of his night stand and handed it to me. I was extremely surprised that the envelope had my name written across the front. Usually the cards he gives are addressed to some funny nickname he's just made up. Inside the card it said "Ask me what your gift is". He surprised me with a hotel room and dinner reservation in Half Moon Bay. Apparently he had it planned for weeks. I was stoked. We packed our bags, left a note for the dog sitter (thanks Josh!) and we were out of the house around Noon. We stayed at the Oceana and had a fantastic dinner . Due to budget issues, Half Moon Bay canceled their fireworks show so we didn't watch fireworks this year but I can't imagine anything would compare to the show we watched during our wedding last year.

Thanks for a fantastic anniversary Brett! (I promise to cut back on the jabs for next year!)

Cleaning out my closet

Figuratively and literally, that's exactly what I did on Friday. I cleaned out my closet. I went through all the old clothes that no longer fit, are out of style or were wardrobe mishaps to begin with. I got rid of things that have been in there for years, particularly a pink sweatsuit that I know I've had since before Jan. 12th 2005. This is the sweatsuit I was wearing the morning I found out my brother had been killed in a car accident. My mom had a matching navy blue one, we had bought them together. I don't know if she was wearing hers that day and I definitely don't remember what anyone else was wearing but I know without a doubt that I was wearing mine. The sleeve is still stained with mascara despite being washed several times in the last 5 years. I finally decided it was time to move on. Not to move on from the memory of my brother, that will never happen, but the memory of what that sweatsuit represented. There are no words to describe the way I felt that day but whatever those words are THAT is what that sweatsuit represented. I never want to feel THAT ever again. I have lost several important people throughout my life, I loved all of them and all were significant in their own way but none of them compare to the loss of my brother.

After 5 years of seeing that sweatsuit sit in the top of my closet, I decided it was time to let it go. When I was finished cleaning out the closet I took 4 large trash bags full of clothes to Goodwill and it felt good. It felt really good. Not because I had made a significant amount of space available in my closet for new (and hopefully smaller) clothes but because I had gotten rid of that sweatsuit. Over the last 5 years the 'real' memories of my brother have slowly faded. I moved out of the last apartment he had visited me in, I dismantled and moved the bed that he had put together for me, I sold the car that I can still remember seeing his face in the rearview mirror of... I will always have those memories but the 'realness' of them no longer exists. I will never be happy that memories are the only thing I have left of my brother but I think I am finally okay with choosing which memories to leave behind. Plus, my brother left us one of the best gifts possible, my beautiful niece!

Skinny Cow

Have you ever heard the saying "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"? Well I don't know what kind of food those skinny bitches eat but I can tell you that my food is DELICIOUS! Now I would love to be skinny AND eat everything I want but my metabolism just won't allow it, trust me, I've tried. I need some motivation. The typical 'get skinny for summer!', 'Be healthy!', 'Feel your best!' don't work for me. My WEDDING didn't even motivate me! I'll be 30 in November, isn't that the stereotypical cut-off point for when a 'fit' body is achievable? I hope not! I am slowly putting a plan into place for my new goals and they include several things not just weight loss. My first step will be an attitude check and a new best friend, the treadmill. Here's to being the skinniest cow possible!